cybergirlfriend:

i hate that im sensitive and jealous and stupid and quiet and ugly and annoying 

unclefather:

my ex got mad on facebook when he found out i was seeing someone else and he wrote “i hope he likes your loose pussy” so i commented back and wrote “my vagina is a muscle that will go back to the same size after sex. your penis will never get any bigger.” and now he is messaging me saying “delete that comment now”

sp0nge-worthy:

What do you call it if a guy gets an erection at a funeral?

Mourning wood.

I’ll be here all night, folks. 👊

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